just checking in

Here's what one of the guys I was recently matched with gave as his answer to what he's most passionate about: "Learning. Learning by 'dancing' with the world. Not that I shun book learning (books rule), but the immediacy of participation is unequalled. Whether listening to a teacher/master, in conversation or dance, viewing art, or just watching the changing hues of a thunderstorm at sunset, being present in the moment cements learning at an experiential level. Then, followed by quiet reflection new associations emerge leading to still further questions."

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I probably watch too much television for this guy.

As I suspected, I received an offer from eHarmony to sign up for 3 months for the price of one ($49.95), but I think I'll hold out. They'll send out another offer, and I've got a little too much going on at the moment to really be interested.

hiatus

I'm taking a break from eHarmony for a while, and therefore won't have anything to post here. I didn't quit completely - they'll still send me the occasional match, I just won't be able to communicate with them unless I resubscribe. But the matches lately have slowed to a trickle anyway, and none of them have been exciting, so I think it's time for a break.

another connection severed

# 0906-05 from Johnson City, TN has closed down communication, giving "I am pursuing another relationship" as his reason. Good thing, too, because otherwise I would've had to look Johnson City up on a map.

My membership is due to renew next week (I think it renews each month on the 14th), and I'm seriously considering throwing in the towel. It's been weeks since anyone has shown even a flicker of interest, and I'm getting tired of looking at this long list of people I'm incompatible with - my closed list is up to 585! I'm starting to think my time on the internet may be better spent elsewhere.

the onslaught of 9/6

After a fairly long dry spell I received six matches in one day. Three of them have already closed down communication, but here's the scoop:

# 0906-01 from Atlanta, GA - one of the closed. He's a writer and film producer and said he was interested in "pursuing other matches at eHarmony" per his closing message. Too bad, because he seemed sort of promising. Rating: 1 frog

# 0906-02 from Beaufort, SC - He's a little younger (33) and he's in the military, but otherwise seems pretty decent. He's a nice-looking guy, that's for certain. But I'm very leery of younger men. Rating: 1.5 frogs

# 0906-03 from Atlanta, GA - another of the closed. He's in advertising and is passionate about his job, so if he hadn't already closed me down I'd be okay with him. But no point in dwelling on it, since he's closed things down. Rating: 1.5 frogs

# 0906-04 from Macon, GA - the last of the closed, a high school teacher and coach. Teachers are another profession I'm partial to, but he wasn't partial to me! Rating: 2 frogs

# 0906-05 from Johnson City, TN - a loan officer who's got a heavy emphasis on spirituality in his profile. His last book was something about Lance Armstrong & the Tour de France. So not a lot in common, I don't think. But nothing glaringly wrong either. Aside from the fact I don't know where Johnson City, TN is. Rating: 2 frogs

# 0906-06 from Atlanta, GA - This guy didn't answer most of the questions on his profile, but in the ones he did answer he's pretty articulate. No photo posted, though, so I don't think he's very committed to the process. Rating: 2 frogs

eHarmony seems to have added some new features since I last logged on. The first is that if you leave questions blank on your profile, they don't post them. So instead of having a list of things with "n/a" in them, the questions simply aren't there. You can still tell there are things missing, of course, but I guess they figure it looks better than all the responses with "n/a."

The other thing they've added that I think is kind of creepy is a "final message" option. This means if someone closes communication with you, you have the opportunity to respond to their closing comment and try to keep the fire alive, as it were. Very scary! They are multiple choice options, and I can only suppose that they came up with these based on user input. Here are the five options you have:

- I have now posted my photo and when it's approved it should be available to you. I guess this one is for those folks who close down communication since their match hasn't posted any photos. That's one of the closed message options, so this one makes sense.

- I have completed all my Match Profile questions. This would be for those folks who left a lot of blanks. Curiously, you can't give "this match hasn't completely filled out their profile" as a closing reason, so I don't know how you'd know to use this one.

- Good luck with your search. The eHarmony equivalent of "Good luck in all your endeavors," the closing salutation for rejection letters the world over. I don't know why you'd even bother with this one.

- I really felt that we had potential. I'd like you to reconsider. We've now entered the city limits of Creepytown. I suppose I could see using this one if someone you were matched up with seemed perfect to you and they'd closed you down, but it seems a bit desperate to me. He'd have to be super-fabulous for me to bust this one out.

- I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am. This is the city hall of Creepytown for sure. I can't even think of anything to say about it, I think it's so weird.

I need to get together with Julie and get her to take some better pictures of me to post - maybe if I had a picture of myself up as a blonde I'd have better luck. Certainly no one lately has been interested.

news from the front

Since I didn't meet any eligible bachelors at Dragon*Con, my eHarmony search continues. I've got a batch of new guys from today, but I'm going to briefly update on the recent spate of closings and any straggler matches I haven't posted about yet.

First off, I was put on hold by a gentleman that I was matched up with before I started the frogpile, so I haven't written anything about him before. According to his hold message, he's taking a break from dating now, but may be interested in communicating more in the future. He's somewhere in Alabama, so I'm not too broken up about it.

Now for the closings:

# 0819-05 from Mount Pleasant, SC closed off communication stating, "I think the physical distance between us is too great." He left off, "plus I'm a weight-lifter and really clean cut and just not her type anyway," but what he said is still reasonably accurate.

# 0829-02 from Columbus, GA also closed things down, but this is no great loss. This was the guy in the army who put "my kids" in all three spaces for things he's most thankful for. He gave "I want to pursue other matches at eHarmony" as his reason. So basically we're not going to bother wasting each other's time, and that's a good thing.

# 0902-01 from Murfreesboro, TN closed down communication (he's a relatively new match and I hadn't posted anything about him yet). I'm actually quite relieved about this, because in addition to not really having anything in common with him, I have a hell of a time trying to say "Murfreesboro."

So that's it for today. I'll go over the matches I received today another time - after a long dry spell I received six today, so I don't have time to explore them all right now.