another one gone

Despite the apparent lack of women in Powder Springs, both of my matches from that area have now closed me down. # 0721-05 closed communication with me, listing "I have too much going on in my life at the moment" as his reason. He was the nerdy one from Powder Springs that I thought might have some potential, but oh well. Gas prices are too high to be driving to Powder Springs & back on a regular basis anyway. This brings my total number of closed matches (since mid-February) to 516. Yikes!

the new & the closed - Fri 7/29

Only one closed match recently - #0721-04 from Powder Springs closed me down. This was the guy who posted a picture of himself in his swimsuit. The reason he gave was "Based on statements in their profile, I am not interested in this match." Yeah, right. I bet it was the fact that my photo stated, "I will not be posing in my bathing suit anytime soon." I am not reeling from the rejection.

On to the new:

# 0728-01 from Atlanta is originally from Liverpool, so a cute accent can be assumed. However, since he posted his direct e-mail in the "additional information" section, I don't think he's the guy for me. I find that sort of thing disingenuous. Everyone knows the rules - if you want to communicate with someone on eHarmony, you have to subscribe and pay the piper. And part of the benefit of that is that you can remain anonymous until you feel comfortable with the other person. Trying to circumvent the system by posting your direct e-mail is flat-out dishonest and also a bit creepy. Also, for his last book he just put "N/A." Rating: 3 frogs

# 0729-01 from Jamestown, NC - Based on the photo he had posted, my first thought was "frat boy!" But the second one's a bit different - it's one of those Christmas-morning photos, I think. His hair's all rumpled, he's unshaven, and he's wearing a sweater I can only hope was a gift. I'm intrigued by the fact he posted that one. It's like he knows women are going to find that adorable, and I think that's blatantly manipulative. So he's cute, but his books are all financial/self-help ones, and he lists "physically fit" as one of the things he's looking for in a match, and he doesn't think long-distance relationships work very well - overall, not terribly promising. It's really only a matter of how long he waits before closing me down. Rating: 2.5 frogs

# 0729-02 from Panama City, FL - A military man. On a motorcycle in his picture, with a t-shirt on that seems to say something about "never forget," with a picture underneath I'm willing to bet is not the Alamo. And even though he's on a motorcycle, he's the most clean-cut man I've ever seen. So maybe a little conservative for me. However, he likes scifi books & Stephen King, so not a complete write-off. Rating: 2.5 frogs

# 0729-03 from Danville, KY - A doctor who admits he "cries for chick flicks." I'm not sure if that's a plus or not. Danville, KY is definitely a minus. Also he's younger than I am, which is a big minus. He does list chocolate as one of the things he can't live without, but nothing really kindles my interest with this one. Rating: 2 frogs

# 0729-04 from Atlanta, GA - He simply lists his occupation as "technical." No photos posted. His last book was The Sisterhood of the Rose, which he describes as "in the vain of Davici Code." So he used the wrong homonym (vain instead of vein), and misspelled Davinci. However, he did use the word esoteric correctly, and he spelled it right too, so I guess I have to go with the "nobody's perfect" assessment on that one. Rating: 1 frog

# 0729-05 from Ridgetop, TN - A vegetarian, and the last book he read was one of Dan Brown's, Angels & Demons. (I'm beginning to think Dan Brown is the Antichrist.) However, he goes into some depth regarding his reason for liking it, and he also lists Michael Chricton as one of his favorites, so I can't condemn him completely. Plus he lists reading materials in his list of things he can't live without, so he clearly reads more than his mention of a Dan Brown book would imply. So I'll let him slide on that one. However, I don't know that my carnivorous heart can get past the vegetarian thing. Rating: 1 frog

update on the live ones - Fri 7/29

So here's the latest on the guys I've actually been communicating with:

I've exchanged a few e-mails with #0726-04 from Athens, GA, the musician with the haircut I wasn't crazy about. So far, seems like a good guy. Likes The Simpsons, so he can't be all bad. Nothing in our exchange has been terribly exciting yet, but I'm talking about a grand total of three e-mails, so I might want to give it another couple of minutes before I pass final judgment. I'll have to wait until Monday to hear from him again, though, because by his own admission he doesn't have internet access at his house. I guess he does all his netsurfing at work.

Communication seems to have stalled with #0726-05 from Hartsville, TN. I sent him my list of Must Haves/Can't Stands and haven't heard anything back. I found one of his answers to the close-ended questions disturbing: he answered the question "Which of the following indoor activities sounds like the most fun to you?" by writing in his own response, which was: "Playing guitar and singing with friends." Anyone who knows me well knows that I can't stand guys that go to parties and pick up guitars and start sing-along & whatnot. That's actually a pet peeve of mine. Possibly because I can't carry a tune and therefore singing along isn't really something I enjoy. Alone in the car - sure. Sitting around a campfire at the beach? Pass me a valium. And a crack pipe. And a gun. I really can't stand it.

However, it seems premature to assume that that signals our complete incompatibility. That plus the fact that he lives in Tennessee somewhere (I haven't bothered yet to figure out where Hartsville is) don't bode well for us, but we'll see what happens. Of course, if he never responds it's a moot point. But the guitar thing means I won't feel it's a great loss if he doesn't.

the streak continues!

As expected, the relentlessly upbeat bachelor # 0726-03 closed down our match. The reason he gave was "Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match." Which I don't have a problem with philosophically - I mean, it's a perfectly legit reason - but I can't help but wonder - which statement? Not that I'd change anything in my profile, I'm really just curious. Anyway, he'd posted a photo of himself with a child, so I knew it was doomed from the get-go, really. Don't know why it's working out that way, but so far, that's the case.

new crop - Tues 7/26

I had one stray match on Sat 7/23 I forgot to post anything about, so I'm going to put him in with this batch.

# 0723-01 from Greensboro, NC - seems nice enough, but he likes to dance (yikes!) and all the books he's read recently are self-help/financial sorts of things, so nothing very interesting there. I really can't dance and would be a dead weight to anyone who can. He's got an artistic sort of job, but his pictures look like publicity photos of some sort - like actor headshots, but he's not an actor. They're just kind of odd. Rating: 2 frogs

# 0726-01 from Atlanta, GA - possibly the shortest match ever. I logged in this morning, saw my list of five brand new matches, and within the next five minutes he'd closed me down. Fine! I wasn't interested in meeting skinny vegetarian investment managers anyway. Rating: 3 frogs

# 0726-02 from Auburn, AL - I've decided that I'm a bit leery of guys who have a lot about "physical fitness" in their introductory information. Not that I have anything against it, but if exercising & eating right is one of their passions, we're gonna run out of things to talk about. However, his last book was A Confederacy of Dunces, so that's kind of promising. And he mentions being a liberal, so that's nice as well. He's probably pretty lonely if he's a liberal in Alabama, bless his heart. Rating: 1.5 frogs

# 0726-03 from Atlanta, GA - another local boy, and at least I'm still in the running with this one. He's also got a financial sort of job, but at least his last book sounded interesting from his description, although I'd never heard of it. He volunteers with Make a Wish foundation and is relentlessly upbeat in his profile - I'm not sure if those things are a plus or a minus. I don't think this one's going to go anywhere because of the "photos with children" rule that seems to apply to me - I don't think I've had any communication with guys who have pictures with children among the ones they have posted. Rating: 1.5 frogs

Now, on to the two guys that actually sent me requests for communication:

# 0726-04 from Athens, GA - maybe a little too into music for me, but considering how into movies & tv I am, I suppose I should be forgiving of obsessions in others. Seems to have a decent sense of humor and whatnot, so all-in-all not bad. Major drawback - I'm not crazy about his haircut. Which isn't really a big deal. Rating: 1 frog

# 0726-05 from Hartsville, TN - I have no idea where Hartsville is, so that's a minus, I guess. Last book, Tony Hillerman's stuff (re-reading). That's a plus. One thing from his profile I'm concerned about is this: his answer to the question about what one thing does he wish more people would notice about him is "how deeply I may care about some things in particular. Sometimes people don't understand and hurt your feelings unintentionally." Since I'm not exactly the reigning champion of tact, this could end up being a big minus. Rating: 1 frog

two down

Turns out I was right about bachelor # 0721-03 from Jefferson, GA - it was not meant to be. He closed me, but I don't remember the reason why. Something pretty generic. I don't think they offer "This chick looks like she can't handle snakes!" as an option, so I'm sure that's why.

I put bachelor # 0721-02 from Tallahassee, FL out of his misery when I got his "Must Haves/Can't Stand" list. Three out of his twenty options (you can pick 10 Must Haves and 10 Can't Stands) concerned sex: on the Must Haves side there were two; "I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding" and "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express herself freely." Then on the Can't Stands side, there was "I can't stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis." None of these things are bad in and of themselves, but if you have a long list of things to choose from that you must have or can't stand in a potential mate, would you waste three slots on the list with sexual issues? And here's the corker, also on his MH/CS list was this: "I can't stand someone who is overweight," the eHarmony equivalent of "no fat chicks!" Definitely a 3 frog match - I don't know what they were thinking with this one.

the batch from Thurs 7/21

So here's the latest crop of bachelors from eHarmony:

• # 0721-01 from Marietta, GA - avid golfer who didn't bother to fill out 8 of the 11 questions you're asked in the introductory information or post a photo. His dedication to the process is less than impressive. Plus, the only thing he bothered to mention he liked doing is golf. Rating: 3 frogs

• # 0721-02 from Tallahassee, FL - an engineer who doesn't like to read books at all, according to his profile. He also says he's not interested in women with children, although he knows that makes him sound "encreditably shallow." Among the things he can't live without: a clean house. Clearly, not a match made in heaven. This poor guy would end up beating me to death with my unused Swiffer as I lay on the sofa reading a book, if he ever had to live with me. However, since he sent me a request to communicate, and we're so completely mismatched, I gave in to curiosity and answered his questions. One of which was "How do you feel about premarital sex?" Now there's an icebreaker! Rating: 3 frogs

• # 0721-03 from Jefferson, GA - one of the photos he has posted shows him handling snakes. Not in a bizarro religious sort of way, but still - he's handling snakes. Big ones, not little innocuous garter snakes. Also, last book - DaVinci Code. And he's got a 17-month old son, which makes it seem to me like he hasn't been single long enough to be out trolling for chicks on the internet. Of course, I'm assuming he's divorced and not tragically widowed or newly adoptive, which I shouldn't assume. Nice looking guy, but I think the combination of DaVinci Code and the snakes spells our doom. Plus I don't know where the city of Jefferson is. Rating: 2 frogs

• # 0721-04 from Powder Springs, GA - I do have some idea of where Powder Springs is, I think. Southwest of Atlanta. Maybe. Anyway, that's where the next bachelor is from. Also a decent-enough seeming sort of fellow, but in one of his pictures he's in the pool (and therefore has his shirt off), and I feel that anyone that posts a photo of themselves half-naked is probably going to be a little more concerned with appearance than I would be comfortable with. Plus they're unlikely to be interested in the less-than-photogenic-in-our-bathing-suits girls like me anyway. So, this one's probably not going to get off the ground either. Rating: 2 frogs

• # 0721-05 from Powder Springs, GA - yes, another match from Powder Springs. It's like Alaska down there, I guess; very short on available women so they have to import them from the big city. Anyway, this guy actually seems nice. Only one misspelled word, "ludicrious," and that one's kind of a toughy anyway. Last book - Dune Chronicles. You know I love guys that aren't afraid to admit they're nerds! Nothing stellarly exciting in his profile, but he seems like a well-rounded decent sort of fellow. So I doubt I'll ever hear from him. Rating: 1 frog

So that's it for this crop. I'll write more when I hear back from #0721-02 from Tallahassee. I can't wait to see his list of Must Haves/Can't Stands. I also plan on recapping some of the Closed Hall of Famers as well in the future.

the frog rating system & disclaimer

I've formulated a frog rating system:

• One frog - the least frog-like rating. Closest thing to non-frogginess, in fact. May actually have potential.
• Two frogs - nothing close to a prince but not ridiculously frog-like.
• Three frogs - the froggiest! This one means "what on earth were they thinking when they matched me up with this guy? Can I retake that personality test?"

Here's the thing, though - I want to make it clear that the frog rating system has nothing to do with whether the guy in question is actually a decent person; obviously, unless we communicate in some way, I'm not really in a position to know that. It strictly has to do with how much we do or do not seem to have in common based on their profile.

welcome to the frogpile

I've decided to start blogging about my online matchmaking/dating experience so that I don't have to bore my friends & family with my stories one at a time - they can all log on and see for themselves what I'm up to. So that's what this blog's all about.